curtain Author's Note: 'Curtain'--written around 2003 or '04--is probably the longest poem I have ever written, and the one, I think, that I like reading the best. It was intentionally written as an Aoshi/Misao poem, of Rurouni Kenshin origin, hence the line (and there are others), 'you still think I'm that little girl'. I don't want it to really be attributed to just fanfiction, though. I like it too much for that. Nobody tells me I've got a curtain in front of my face, lady-lace to match the out- side world so I can see out, but the curtain must be thick to you because you notice me like you're looking through the window I've tried to pull them back yank back the thong-like lace that hangs over my pale, virgin face, but what good has it done me? I'm still behind the lace, but by the way you 'notice' me, it could be glass. Could someone hand me the scissors? Will it cut through? It's like you're scared to see me, you can't be afraid of me! Damn curtain! Move! Take it away, take it away! Who put this thing here? Is this your way of protecting the "innocent?" You fool! I'm not innocent! You only think that because you were there when I was born, saw me learn how to walk, how to cry, how to hit, how to talk, how to fight, how to love, how to hate, how to....everything! You think I'm still that little girl! Yank it off, pull it off, let me kiss you. Run my fingers through soft raven hair, the strands I've longed to touch since how long ago? This lace makes me cry, but they don't have to ask why because you put this here, right? You did it. And they know. So what now? Will you keep me in forever? Never see my real face? I'm not a little girl, and this curtain only shows that you refuse to believe what is real, you can't seem to know how to deal with it. Pull it off. It's not fair. It's like you don't seem to care what I'll grow up to be. I don't want anyone else but you! Don't you get it? I lived my life for you. And what did you do, well, nothing. The lace blurs my view, or could it be tears? How long will I keep this secret from you? "I love you!" Words spok- en so bittersweet. Through this curtain I silently weep, waiting for your response. I'm ready for rejection. If you want me to I'll keep the curtain on forever! I'll die with it on! All I want is you, all I want is your happiness. I want to hear yes but what if I hear no? Fingers pulling doily back, roughness touching perfect smooth pale cheeks. Is that you? Telling me you love me back? Sunlight kisses my virgin lips, wait, that's not sunlight, that's you. I've heard of sweet nothings that do keep you wanting more, and this one keeps me wanting forever. "Tell me you love me..." The curtain is tossed away. Where did it go? "I love you." Little girl mask gone, wonderful sweetness, she is the swan. back